


guilty and grieving

by grovicisms



Series: If, If, If [1]
Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Gen, LITERALLY, Mentions of alcoholism, Scotty and Bones are best friends, Scotty and Bones are each other's shoulder to cry on, Star Trek: Into Darkness Spoilers, Universe Alteration, and sometimes best friends lash out at each other, in which Khan's blood doesn't work
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-12
Updated: 2013-12-12
Packaged: 2018-01-04 11:44:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 422
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1080627
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grovicisms/pseuds/grovicisms
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One's racked with guilt. The other, mourning the loss of his best friend.</p><p>Either way, Jim's gone. And he won't be coming back.</p>
            </blockquote>





	guilty and grieving

**Author's Note:**

> So, I have headcanons that I sometimes will turn into little ficlets.
> 
> Most of them turn out like this.
> 
> Also, McScotty has ruined my life.

He waits. Waits for the inevitable. He waits for Leonard to come storming in, frantically trying to figure out what happened and shouting _don’t tell me he’s gone damnit he’s not gone._

Scotty notices how he stills when he sees the body bag on the gurney.

Scotty doesn’t say a word.

“Christ…” Leonard’s hands are suddenly hovering over the zipper, but not touching. If what they’re telling him is true, he doesn’t want to open it.

His hands are shaking as he opens the bag.

There’s a hitch in Leonard’s breathing that Scotty notices at once.

He knows Jim Kirk is dead because he saw it happen.

He could have _stopped it._ If only he acted _sooner, anticipated_ Jim’s actions.

Scotty pins the blame on no one but himself.

But Leonard doesn’t know that.

All he knows is that Scotty was the last person to see Jim before he disappeared into the core.

_And Leonard hates him for it._

He hasn’t cried yet. No, he’ll have time for that later. Right now, he’s angry. _Furious,_ even. Because the one person that could have at least attempted to prevent this is standing not two yards away.

“Leonard…” Scotty breaks the silence eventually. “Len, I am so—”

“You sonuva _bitch_.”

Leonard is rearing on Scotty now, grabbing him by the collar and shoving him. “You were _there!_ You could have _stopped him!_ You could have said _something_ and he would still _be here!_ ”

And Scotty lets him do it. He lets Leonard push him around, shout at him, vent out his frustrations and his _pain._

He’s shoved into a wall, then. Leonard has a hold of him, balling his fists in his shirt and almost lifting him off the ground.

That’s when Scotty finally speaks up.

“ _Len_.”

He doesn’t raise his voice, but he says the name with enough force to bring Leonard out of his grief-induced rage.

With his hands still gripping Scotty’s front, Leonard drops his head onto his shoulder.

And he cries.

“I’m so sorry. _God,_ I’m so sorry,” Leonard gasps out. “I just can’t—he’s _gone_ , Scotty.”

The tears have begun again as Scotty nods against him, embracing Leonard and squeezing with all he had. “I know, I know. It’ll be alright, Len. It’ll be alright.”

They stand there, embracing each other and crying. For how long, they don’t know. One mutters apologies, the other, reassurances.

They both idly wonder just how drunk they can get before alcohol poisoning sets in.

It’s a mutual decision to test their theories later.


End file.
